Simply, hope.

"How is it?"
"Not bad, it's getting better at least."
"It just broke your heart, didn't it?"
"Yeah," I replied, tears swelling up in my eyes.
"It's sad : things like this always happen to those with the biggest heart."

The hit. The discomfort. The fall.
Where's the pain?
The worry. The help. The applause.
Why must they cheer?
The ice. The denial. The tears.
You can't hide them forever.

I learned that, realistically, one cannot be indestructible. Eventually, recklessness will do you in. I don't have incredible skills to make me shine out there, all I have is heart. It's all I have to give.
But, hearts can be broken. By a boy, by a friend, by family, by a complete stranger, in some cases, by YOURSELF. I wasn't careful enough.
"Let's look at this as a blessing in disguise." Form shooting. Ball handling. This is what I need to improve if I even want a chance at succeeding at a higher level.

A blessing in disguise... Blessing in disguise... In disguise... A blessing.

The doctors said six weeks at the least. I gave myself two. The physio gave me hope.

Time. Here's to the power of prayer.

After countless apples, water bottles, and a bag of Minties, it was all finally over.

I packed up my books and notes, and then prepared for the new semester. I glanced at my reflection in the window on my way out the room and I realized that I’ve been in the same outfit all week.

Maybe I will miss this more than I imagined.

Philippians 4:13

I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.

My body can handle the pain, but my mind can't handle the bench.

Ephesians 4:31-32

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Composure + Consistency

-“Sometimes, you just have to give 125%.”

-- “You’ve just gotta be selfish sometimes.”

-- “If she misses, we run.”

-x- “Push it girls. Keep it up.”

 --- “Stop. Do it again.”

------- “Just stay composed, don’t panic. You’re great.”

-- “Don’t kill yourself out there.”

--- “I know your strengths and weaknesses. I’ll tell them the truth.”

-x- “Come on, you got this!”

--------- “You’re the one they want to beat.”

- “All I need to do is puke, then I will have left everything I have on the court.”

--- “You have a beautiful shot, but when you get amped, its accuracy falters significantly.”

 -x- “Way to hustle.”

----- “Don’t get down on yourself.”

-- “You need to learn how to call for subs. You’ve played almost nonstop, you’re allowed to.”

--- “You HAVE to make good decisions.”

-x- “Allez, allez.”

- “I don’t have skills to give, so I’ll give everything else I have: heart and hustle.”

--- “Push yourself to the max, then push harder.”

-- “Then DUNK IT.”

-- “We may not be the tallest, but we’ll be the fastest and the fittest.”

-x- “This one’s in.”

These may be simple, almost meaningless words filled with grammatical errors, but these are the words that make me want to keep going.

This is almost over

It’s the boring, awkward times that reveal the wonders of bubbly day dreams and inadequate excuses. Where denying self existence is the key, one action can ruin a once pacifistic scene.

All acting in nonchalant manners, at least it can be realized that performing isn’t a skill that’s lacking here.

Outside, the stars are sparkling in the perfect, sombre midnight sky. Inside, the lambent glimmer in her eye is draining into the flustered air surrounding her.

Oh, how she wishes to flee.

She is struggling with Math. He has a headache. He rejoices about going back. She cries easily. He is getting married soon. She’s a volunteer. She is almost done University. He hasn’t even thought of applying. She is easily amused. She is encouraging. She has a minor speech impediment. She needs a tutor. She swore. He wants us to be better. She gives advice. He can’t get over her. She was left in an awkward situation. She wants to travel the world. She rolled an ankle. She jumped into a wall. He insulted. She is ready to risk everything. He knows what he wants to do. She has no idea. He is really quiet. She is beautiful. She is the life of the party. She can’t raise one eyebrow. He loves art. She loves tea. He can’t speak Spanish. She has difficulties with French. She can’t wait to graduate. He begs for forgiveness.  He still hasn’t forgiven.

People. How they change. How they love. How they hurt. How they destroy. How they live. How they inspire.

Here’s my thanks.

Happy New Year.

I've made it this far

I may never understand how to use trigonometry outside of the classroom.  I may never be able to find a good enough idea for a novel. I may never become great at the techniques of visual art. I may never figure out the importance of conics. I may never be considered musically gifted. I may never save a life. I may never learn to completely appreciate the French language. I may never fulfill my athletic goals and dreams. I may never enjoy a Social Studies class. I may never be known. I may never leave the North. I may never care for the properties of light. I may never see the wonders of the World. I may never be able to hit a birdie. I may never find the answer.

However,

I will be good at what’s important. I will do my best in what’s difficult. I will try to learn what I don’t understand. I will care for the people around me. I will love what is hard to love. I will push to be better in the areas that I struggle with. I will excel in the things I love. I will be Abigail always.

And you can’t take that away from me.



Matching bracelets

"We're a team, and that makes us a family." --Cole

Invictus.

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeoning of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the year

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll.

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

- William Ernest Henley

Hallelujah

Everytime I end up walking in the below freezing weather of the North, I always ask myself why I like living here.  Then I step onto a basketball court, pick up a volleyball, or even just look around at the vast beauty, and I understand why.

Thank you, for everything.