I thought your four years went fast, but mine felt faster.  It took a lot to get here, but I'm finally comfortable.  I have never been comfortable.  I love being comfortable.  But that means it's time to go.  Drop your nets.  Get out of the boat.  It's not supposed to be comfortable.  It's not supposed to be easy.  Home is nowhere set in stone - it's been in the days gone by, it's going to be in the days to come.  If home is nowhere, I have to be somewhere, then I can go anywhere. 
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."

I must admit I'm scared to leave.  What will be different?  What will I miss? Will we remember to remember what we had?  I'm scared life will go on without me.  Life will go on without me.  I don't want this to be a painting where nothing changes when I'm erased.  That has been my biggest fear.  I'm scared to let go, to see what's in store because it's so good now.  What if they forget?  What if this comfort isn't real?  What if I have to start again from the bottom?  I started from the bottom and I've hit it again multiple times.  I don't want to go back there.  I can't.

"Nothing that happens is ever forgotten, even if you don't remember it." (Spirited Away)

Here's to the past, here's to change, here's to taking the step.

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